The pursuit of happiness

Trying to convey a message

2008-10-20T21:15:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to express my emotions for a while. So I have penned down a few lines to help me do just that. So here it is straight from the heart-

I have kept this secret for a while
About how I love your smile

About the spark I see in your eyes
How your voice leaves me mesmerized

About how I keep thinking of you
And how I wish only if you knew

About seeing you everywhere I go
And how much fond of you I grow

About enjoying your company intensely
And how I am lost in you completely

About the fact that I love your smile
And how I have kept this secret for a while...

What women want

2008-10-19T22:41:00.000-07:00

Ok enough of the traversing down memory lane for now.
Fast forward to current day. I promise I will try to keep this blog more cheerful and lively.

So recently, I have been watching many a romantic movies. Mostly belonging to the sub-genre of romantic comedies. Yea yea I have been feeling all lovey-dovey and mushy recently, for some inexplicable reasons, which I will hopefully talk about in my coming blogs. So, on popular request, I am going to talk about "What women want". Now, I dont see any point discussing the storyline of the movie in detail, so I will just talk about the title and the thoughts that it provokes in my mind.

For people who havnt seen the movie, Mel Gibson(as Nick Marshall) who is womanizer of sorts, in a freak accident attains the ability to hear women's thoughts. My first reaction was "Damn I wish I could do that", no not to get into their pants, but to understand them better. But then I thought deeply about that and wondered, would I really want that to happen? Just reading a woman's personal thoughts to know what she likes/dislikes, wouldnt that take out all the charm out of life or out of trying to know a woman better? Wouldnt it make the getting to know a person part in a relationship non-existent? So I think I would rather come to know about my girl by spending more time with her, talking to her more and paying more attention to her choices.

The next thing about the movie that got me thinking, having the woman you are attracted to or are dating as your boss. Hmm...I honestly dont know how I would react to that, would my "male ego" come between the two of us? Will I be able to accept the fact that the woman I love is more succesful than me in my field of interested. When I think of it that way, it seems really intimidating to accept that, the feeling would always be there in my sub-conscious mind. But if I love her enough, maybe I will grow up and accept it.

So what do women really want? I have a bit of idea and I think its not a big secret, I mean everyone must be knowing this, its realy basic things. Women want to be loved, be respected and be happy. They are humans afterall, thats what we all want as human beings.
However, they have some needs that different from us men. I will try to list the ones I know of. -First would be communicating with the loved ones. I know women are much more vocal and more adept at expressing their emotions and feelings. Pointer to men- listen to what she says guys, sometimes she doesnt need your advice, she just wants someone to unload her feelings.
-Second, women want you to understand their needs without having to express them. It could be something as simple as giving her a hug to make her feel loved or telling her that you are there for her when shes feeling low.I know its very difficult for guys to understand this without women speaking their needs out loud, but hey! we need to give it a try.

Anyways, thats the only things I can think of right now. So here it is my personal guide on "what women want".

First few days in the US

2008-10-19T22:30:00.002-07:00

We went to my sisters place and left all my stuff there and left for the hospital. Her father in law was ill and she and her mother in law were there with Rupin. I was very tired and kinda sleepy, the jet lag was showing its effects. I tried to stay awake and stay cheerful, we had some snacks at the hospital cafeteria and then went home. The week long stay at my sisters place was mostly uneventful. She gave me lots of tips and gave me few stuff like a wind sheeter,a tee and some other things I might need. I was worried about where I would live once I reach Rochester, I was emailing people frantically and called up 1-2 seniors about housing and as well as for airport pickup. But I had a nice time, had fun playing with Rupin. We went to a beach in Delaware on the weekend. It was a long drive to the beach. It was a good experience though, the weather was pleasent.
Finally, it was the day I would be heading to Rochester. The day before my flight, I checked in the Continental site to print my boarding pass,but it said i couldnt till 12 hrs before the time of flight.
The next day when i logged in to print my boarding pass, it said that I was on the next days morning flight, I had booked the afternoon flight for the same day. I called them up and asked them how that had happened, they told me my flight had been cancelled because of the rain, so they had adjusted me in the next days flight. I told them I had to reach Rochester on that day only, so finally they agreed and I got the evening flight instead.

It was raining heavily the day I was supposed to catch my flight. My bro-in-law was also traveling overseas on the same day, so I was going to accompany him. We left just in time to reach the airport, we didnt have any time to waste at all. The rain was slowing us down, the visibility was low and we couldnt go any faster. We kept calling the airport to inquire about the status of the flight and hoped that it would be late by at least an hour. The flight was delayed and we made it to the airport in time. I took the short flight to Rochester and kept hoping to see some fellow RIT students. I finally met my future roommate on the Rochester airport. We talked a bit,took our luggage and took a taxi to Rustic Village.
We stayed the night at this apartment with some students at RIT who had arrived in Rochester a few days ago as well. The next day, we booked our own apartment, saw RIT for the first time and got out college IDs.
My life in Rochester had just begun....

At EWR

2008-10-19T22:30:00.001-07:00

After the landing, I headed out the plane and was greeted by the pilot and air hostesses. I had made a mistake on one of the forms that we are supposed to fill during the flight and asked the guy outside the plane for another one of those forms. I filled the form and joined the long queue for immigration. There was a long waiting time of around 1.5-2hrs and my legs were ready to give away. Finally, I reached the counter and was asked few questions about my university,course,etc.
I felt a huge feeling of relief and made my way to the baggage claims area. I didnt have any $1 bills and was worried about getting the change for $10 bills. But the guy who gave out the carts told me that he could give me change. I took the change and started looking for my bags. After 15 minutes of fruitless search, I found one of my bags. Damn, all those bags look similar and its hard to recognize your bag after almost 28hrs of flight. After several rounds around the baggage claims, I found the other two bags and summoned all of my strength to put my bags on the cart and headed out.
I was frantically looking for my brother in law and I finally found him waiting for me. I walked to him and then called home and talked to mom. We then walked out the airport and I was amazed to look at the wide roads and the large cars. I shoved all my luggage in the back of the Acura MDX and walked over to sit in the front seat. My bro-in-law offered me some "pohas" and "energy bars" which I ate slowly. We both kept talking and I felt relaxed and relieved.

Landing in the land of dreams

2008-10-19T22:29:00.001-07:00

After quiet a few lunches/dinner/breakfasts. I had lost track of what meal I was having. I didnt feel very hungry and was trying to keep hydrated and made trips to the rest-room to exercise my legs and joints frequently. The huge Boeing approached Brussels, the Pilot announced that we would be taking a 2.5 hrs break and we would have to take our carry-on luggage with us. I had gathered my backpack from the overhead storage space and followed everyone to the exit where the air-hostess handed us a temporary transit visa for the airport. I talked to 1-2 Indian guys who looked like students and mostly stayed close to the group. Our carry on luggage was checked and after being scanned, we were told where we had to wait and it was a long walk. So I found the terminal we were supposed to wait and I was just looking around. I was having a strange feeling,maybe it was just me, I felt like all the people on the airport(what seemed to be the local people) were staring at me. I was very curious and taking a look at all the shops near the waiting area. There was an Indian couple there and their young child was running all over the place, it was good to watch, but suddenly made me sad reminding me of my family too.
I was tired, I found a place to sit near people whom I knew were on my flight.
There was this really cute girl who had been on our flight too,meditating and after a while practising her dance. So I looked at her for a while and tried to breathe slow and relax. Finally, we were told that it was tiem to board the plane again.
After all the formalities we were on the flight again, I was excited about the take off part. I had loved the feeling of speed during the take off from Mumbai and was looking forward to it again. We were airborne and I observed that the crew had changed, we were brought some more food and refreshments AGAIN. I calculated how long it had been since my last meal and decided to eat something and caught another nap. After a while we were brought more food,which I denied and the air hostess asked me if I didnt like the food and if I was feeling alright. I politely told her I was fine, just not feeling hungry. I spend the rest of the flight watching parts of movies and sleeping.
Finally, we were nearing New York. I looked outside to see a huge city with many tall buildings. I was a bit excited and happy. I had finally made it to USA, inspite of all my negative thinking and distrust in my abilities, I had done it.

On the flight

2008-10-19T22:28:00.000-07:00

I was really tired by this time and was happy to have finally found a place to sit. The sadness and tiredness from the journey was taking over me, also it was 1am now and that was another reason i felt so drained. Finally, it was time for the flight,the Airways people annouced the boarding call and I slowly picked up my stuff and joined the line for the boarding pass check before we got on the plane. Everything was ok, I proceeded along the long tunnel-like walkway and suddenly realized I was inside the aircraft. There was a beautiful smiling air hostess at the door who greeted me, I felt a bit better(their smiles are infectious I guess). Another air hostess asked me how I had hurt my finger,I sheepishly answered "While packing my stuff". She answered, "Well take good care of it and have a nice journey". I found my seat, it was the aisle seat,since I wanted to be able to get up whenever I wanted to before disturbing anyone. An elderly couple sat down in the middle and window seats. Well,there goes my hope of sitting with a beautiful girl whom i could talk with the whole flight and make friends with :P. Anyways, we were ready for the take off after about 40 minutes, I was starting to feel really sleepy now and was fighting the urge to fall asleep. Finally it was time, the huge Boeing-777 started to taxi on the runway. It picked up speed, I was enjoying this, it picked up speed really fast and I felt pushed against my seat. This was awesome, I felt the adrenaline rush inside me and it felt good,I felt alive. The plane gracefully left the ground and we were air bound. I finished the orange drink that the air hostess had offered me and relaxed. Starting to feel sleepy, but the air hostess had started to bring some snacks already, I decided to eat some before falling off asleep. There was so many things offered to me, I was confused what to eat and what not to eat. I suddenly remembered that I hadnt eaten anything since the snack on the domestic flight and the dried fruits give by mom. Ah mom,I missed her. I decided to eat something so that I could sleep well. I had a small meal and went to the restroom. It was 4.30am now and I hadnt slept well in the last few days. The antibiotics for the finger infection and the fatigue and sorrow were taking its toll on me. I started to fall asleep,thinking of the new life that lay ahead of me. I was finally going to USA.

The journey begins....

2008-10-19T22:26:00.000-07:00

I always wanted to pen down the experience of my travel to the US and the emotions inside me as I made this big transition in life. So the next couple of blog entries are going to be about my journey to the US of A.
I can say this is a new chapter in my life, came here in USA on 12th August,2007. This is when it began, my new life; a life of new challenges,new situations and new people. Something I had avoided all my life, I had to face all those things. But I have been doing pretty well so far on that field, I have overcome my shyness a bit and I have also learnt how to enjoy life.

I took my first flight ever, from Bhopal(my hometown) to Mumbai. I was scared and nervous, I was with my parents and was a fool not to enjoy those final few hours with them. I was more worried about the flight,the life that lay ahead and my finger,that I had hurt bad while packing.
The flight was at about 7pm, we reached Bhopal airport around 5.30pm. Mom took my pics on the airport, I knew I was so gonna miss her, and she realized how much. I was supposed to get the boarding pass on the airport,but the airport people told me that I would get the boarding pass from Bhopal to Mumbai only, the boarding pass for Mumbai to Newark flight I could get only at Mumbai. One good thing that happened was that my luggage did get checked in till Newark,so I didnt have to worry about it at Mumbai airport. Anyways, the take off was good, the weather was stormy so there was some turbulance and I felt a bit sick. Mom kept talking to me,kissing my hand and now I feel terrible for not savoring it, for not looking at her one more time. We landed at Mumbai and took the airport bus to the domestic airport. There I had to inquire about getting the boarding pass for the next part of my journey and how to get to the international airport. I had to stand waiting in the line for the bus to the international airport. Finally my turn to board the bus came, I saw tears in my mom's eyes,she seemed to be trying really hard to hold them back, but it wasnt working. She kept kissing me and telling me to take care. Dad shook hands with me, still hiding his feelings, but today I saw pride in his eyes, maybe a shade of sorrow too. I boarded the bus and suddenly realized I wont get to see my parents for I dont know how long. The bus ride was long and lonely. Finally I reached the international airport, looked around for the Jet Airways terminal and didnt knew what to do next. I read a board that read "Help Desk" I asked for the directions to enter the terminal. I saw throngs of families and friends come to see off their kids and friends to the airport. I suddenly felt so lonely, thinking about how many of my friends had called me and said goodbye, I decided I needed to get more close friends. I entered the airport and didnt know where to go,what to do. I was thirsty. Took one good look at the entire place, and approached the Jet Airways counters. I had to ask 4-5 people about where to get the boarding pass, had to explain them about my situation,how I had just taken a domestic flight, how my luggage was checked in and how I just needed my boarding pass. I was given a boarding pass by an attractive young lady and given a list of instructions. I thought I had it figured out, I went ahead and got the forms that I had to fill, then suddenly not sure if that had to be just an hour before the flight or not. I roamed around a bit more,looking at people and shops and finally decided to go back to the Jet Airways people asking them what to do next. This time I got clear instructions, I had to fill a form and then clear the customs, then I could check into the waiting lounge. I was so thirsty and tired by now, my finger didnt make it any easier to carry my backpack or do anything for that matter. I went to the restroom and asked a security personnel where I could find some drinking water. Took my medicines with the water I had just filled in my waterbottle (apparently drinking water at airports was too expensive, I only had a 10Rs and 500Rs note with me). After taking the water, I filled the forms and waited in the line for customs clearance. The lady at the counter seemed friendly, saw my last name and said " So, ur Marathi". I said yes and gave her a smile. She chit chatted a bit while looking at my forms asking me where I was from ,etc. She looked at my passport and my papers and said u can go now. I went ahead and was confused, was there any other formality left? I approached the friendly lady again and she told me I just needed to go downstairs in the waiting area and wait. I went down, was feeling hungry again and bored. I rested on a bed-like chair for a bit and then decided to look around for currency exchange shops, I was worried about getting the dollars I would need at Newark airport for getting a luggage trolley. I was so tired now, I came back and sat down, opened the bag of dry fruits mom had given to me and started eating some. I decided to get my backpack stamped and wait in the final waiting room. Apparantely, some flight had been delayed and the waiting area was filled. Everyone seemed to be watching some cricket match on the screen. I found a nice corner and decided to wait. I had to call Mom and Dad, I took the last few coins in my pocket and found a phone booth, put some coins in and waited for someone to pickup. Dad was awake and picked up the phone,we talked a bit and before I could say bye, the time was over. I frantically looked for more 1Rupee coins, but I had none. I suddenly realized how precious a one rupee coin could be. I was hoping they wouldnt worry about me. Finally one of the flights arrived and I found some seating place in the waiting area.

The pursuit

2008-10-06T07:54:00.000-07:00

This part of my life...This part right here? ...is called the pursuit of happiness.
I have been planning to do this since forever, but just have been too lazy to start blogging. Anyways, here I go.

Another reason I am writing this is to get some stuff off my chest and they say its better to pen down your feelings and express them(apparently it helps in some way).So here I am writing my first blog entry.

A day or two ago, I realized that sometimes people don't give you the same value as you give them. You are not worth as much to them as they might be to you. A lesson which I have had to learn the hard way a couple of times, but the point doesn't seem to enter my thick skull. I have realized that I should try not to ignore people's flaws because of the fact that I start thinking with my heart when around them. I need to try and look at things from a clear perspective as I do when I am thinking from my head. I have to try to be practical and listen to my logical mind, when its trying to tell me something. I have decided to wait for the right person, someone who would deserve me just the way I would deserve them. I am sure someday I will find someone who will value me just as much as I value them.

So its the 6th October, a Monday. Then where does the pursuit of happiness come in here??
Well it never stops, its a life long journey. And in the words of Denis Waitley-
“It is not in the pursuit of happiness that we find fulfillment, it is in the happiness of pursuit."
This has been the center of my thoughts for a while, how can I be happy. Apparently the only way I get the feeling of happiness is by.....well chasing it. So I am going to chase my dreams, take one step at a time towards them, work each day slowly to get closer to what I want to achieve. This is what I resolve to do and enjoy it while I am at it.

Apart from that not much new has been happening in my life. Although I would like to mention one notable change, I have made a wonderful new friend. Or should I say a couple of wonderful friends. I enjoy talking to them and hanging out with them. Yet a special mention of my new friend with whom I have been very comfortable talking to and sharing my thoughts and deepest beliefs, which I usually don't share very easily. Its a great feeling to have a friend you can talk to about anything and I always enjoy having an intellectual conversation. Its specially helpful when your living miles away from your family and friends are your only family.

I feel that that's all I have to write for today. Till next time........bye.